kept staring at my class photo. first i counted the number of girls in the class. then i counted the boys. then i counted the girls again, then went to to guys. then i counted the number of people who were really good to me, as in, didn't mind my company, and there were almost all the girls, and some of the guys. out of these people, 3 of them are leaving singapore. that means, effectively, i would only have known them for 2 years. or rather, just 5 months.
i recalled my senior once told me that time in JC life flies super duper fast... arghz. how i wished i could stay for another 1 more yr, even though i used to pray i would never ever want to repeat another yr. actually, 2 years is a good time. because time was so packed, we only had time to generate good memories. unlike in secondary school where everyone was pmsing at the same time for 4 years.
there's this girl in my class who wanted me to sign a contract with her, to set up a business 10 years later. haha, it's nothing really funny, but the idea was rather abrupt and she seemed so dead serious i was afraid to promise her anything further. to what extent should i believe her words? i do such things all the time, but they were always short lived, let alone 10 years. i felt that, i didn't believe in myself, that's why i couldn't believe in others. or rather, i know myself too well to know that it would be my fault if anything screws up. anyway, i was quite surprised and flattered that she chose me la out of so many people in the class.
then i realized my class had 5 cliques. but we could integrate well. like ammonia in water. no, not exactly la. let's say ammonia in alcohol. there's were only few people who were willing to be the bridge, like H-bonds. ( argh stop you chem freak). i would say i might be one of them. at least i know that i don't cling onto someone all the time, although at times when i feel bothered, i don't know who to find to talk to. some are great listeners, but somehow the bond between us are just like pd-pd. it's like, i don't know them well enough to share my burdens and troubles.
sometimes people would always tell me that they would be there for me coz that's what friends are for but sometimes, things and people don't always fall in place neatly, where ever they should fall into. then, there's this clique, noisy and boisterous. okie i admit i'm one of them. then since dunno when, i was named the monkey pet.
i see how much laughter they get out of teasing me and it feels great to be showered with attention. hahaa, do i look like the kind who looks teasable? and i realised, without this particular hk girl in my class, i wouldn't get saboed so many times and the class wouldn't be that happening anymore. really, majority of us don't have the boldness to speak up in class and to blatently bring in food and drinks to class like nobody's business.
and yes. this chao attitude girl in my class whom i somehow admire and always having to remind me that's she's straight and shy. oh well. anyway, she's not so much of the hopeless case. at least singing KTV with her for 5 hours was quite an enjoyment. although she's not v outspoken, she mixes well with people she likes, and people seem to like her as well. in the past i would always rem her sleeping only during physics and rushing off for her cca after lessons. there weren't many times we hanged out together, about 5 times i guess.
okie, the last person i will talk about today is my best guy friend i ever had. for many times nic would ask me why am i not together with him, i found myself kinda baffled by that question because i had never thought of it before. he had always been my best bud and would never fail to be there for me when i needed him. whenever i absent myself for no reason, he would call me to ask what happened. he knows when i'm pmsing and when i'm feeling down. he gets along well with all the girls and my clique, and doesn't put up a false front at all although he acts cool and poser. come to think of it, he makes a very good boyfriend and conversationalist. he's smart hardworking and funny and just everything, except being macho which is not exactly a requirement for my kind of boyfriend. i guess we are destined to be great friends. complex relationships are never good. and during orientation period when i almost totally detached myself from the class, he was the one who pulled me back into the group. silly me burst into tears when i finally told him how much he meant to me as a classmate.
okie, i shall end here. i didn't have the intention to talk about it but i just rattled on and on.

spent the whole day doing chem MCQs again. and surprisingly i can get 33 out of 40. i'm good eh? =)