Xmas Day 2014

This holy night was our dear Lord Jesus Christ our savior came down to us to separate sin from our bodies onto himself and he becomes the sinned lamb while we are washed clean.

Our heavenly father loved us so much, He gave his only begotten son. Right now, I stand before God all cleansed and righteous because our Lord Jesus Christ has cleansed us.

So, what does that make me as a human now? Doing earthly things like being in a corporate job, stabbing each other and liking somebody of the same gender as me? They are only sinful if other human being sees them as sins. Earthly sins are, afterall, defined by our fellow humans and I will only get hurt if i choose to believe these unworthy remarks - which make these people unworthy of my time and space.

Cutting off all bridges with someone - no problem. It's just another human being anyway. i start to discover that I don't have the energy to be with people I can't care about. I have turned into a selfish person who only goes after my own gratification. Isn't that what human is all about? Doing caring things to another, just to make themselves feel better?

I want to be present to this weakness and to harness it into my strength. No more oh-you-need-my-help-you-poor-thing charity whatsoever. People behind these charities only set it up for their own gratification as well. Admit it admit it admit it, the less fortunate people benefiting out from them are only receiving the by-product of what's left.

2015 will be a better year, I promise. I will turn out stronger and more courageous. and to give a bigger sense of security to my potential partner? Sorry, you will have to grow your own confidence for that.