i think i doubt myself too much... way too much!

and sometimes, i would think if i made a right decision in joining nus. I didn't want to go NTU because i didn't i didn't want to be president. So now, i'm in NUS, and i'm doing what i didn't want to do.
I enjoyed the processed, the rejections and horrible horrible rivarly... but i had to go through self blame and much of she-doesn't-even-care-why-the-hell-am-i-doing-this stage. I liked the power given, yet there's so much price to pay. so many people telling me " so u msged me coz u want to sell things to me right?" YES i admit. I msg u in like 10 yrs because i'm trying to sell something. i've been MIA for so long from my social circle for so long that i don't even know if they still treat me as their fren.... and i really really appreciate every single attention i get from the people from my faculty. At least they realise my existance. But i hate it, when i try to talk to some, they just shrug me off to their other friends. I feel like such a fool some times, as if desperate for some attention. and i hate people who chooses their friends.
Now i'm just a hi-bye friend to almost everybody in my faculty. But i want to express my thanks, at least to all those who stopped by at the table to talk to me. At least, i'm quite known to some people... and those who expressed concern. thanks, i'm just your fellow human being...