End of Xmas Holidays

Thought I just penned down some thoughts before going back to work.

That I thought I could achieve something in my love life this holiday. I've made the person in subject (PiS) angry and happy again but I ended up spending my Xmas eve alone, physically. But the PiS stayed on and she was the only person who stayed thru with me cross midnight.

Physical presence is still my top love language, but I see words of affirmation climbing up the list. Presents are insignificant, but the fact that time and energy and thoughts was invested in it, I couldn't ask for more.

This is not about PiS, but a self-discovery journey about myself. How I would not allow anybody's mood to affect my subsequent actions. I am still adapting to dealing with an introvert. I have my frustrations. I have my impatience. But introverts don't like their plan to be interrupted! How many time must I remind myself that I gotta be stronger than this.

So for every rejection / lost opportunity is my next moment for my pampering me-time.

And for friends that I should keep in contact with? Treat myself well first, only then I have the power and choice to spread positive mood to others. It would be selfish to let others carry my burden, which I cynically think that they won't bother anyway and everybody just sub-consciously look for self-benefit.

It's time for bed. And nearing the last day of the year which shall be my ultimatum. Before 2015 will start off on the right foot. Accept, great. Reject, just lots of me-time again. :)

～