As 4 of us sit by the poolside... we were all struck by the essence of growing up. They had been heartbroken before, feeling misery in them and the strongest person i ever knew broke down. I couldn't do much but give pats on her shoulder. How fragile our hearts can be and how some people are driven to suicide because their relationship has failed. I had learnt that trying to forget the whole matter wasn't the way to go. There's so much emotional and physical dependence. I sure she was feeling wretched, anguished and inconsolable. Someone to talk to everynight seemed to have vanish into thin air, someone who is given the rights to hug and kiss you just abandons you, the heart wrenches and the soul just doesn't talk terms with your body. sigh. i have never gone thru all these before simply because i have never been walked out of a relationship before. I can never truely understand how they feel when they spend countless nights crying themselves to sleep. It seemed like the most senseless thing to do after a breakup, immature and childish. but it dawned on me that crying was the only escape from misery. Anger, hurt and the need for physical comfort... emotions that even the world's most rational person would mix up. Numbness to the surrounding, some to the extent of inflicting pain on themselves to ease the hurt in the heart. Comfort derived from pain... very distrubing, yet not everyone can see through the depths of the agony and devestation that one has to go through...

But i think i made this stupid statement before... "you should never die before you make love". Haha sounds stupid but i won't retract my statement. i always believe one hasn't lived her life to the fullest until it is completed with love, accompanied with a unison of a man's and a woman's body. of coz, it must be whole-hearted. love really does make the world round. No matter how great you are, no one remembers what things you have left behind on Earth. Only feelings can be brought up to heaven with your soul and the strongest affections would only be felt when you have really loved and cared for someone.

Happy 20th birthday my frens.