2015

17 jan took a somewhat exciting turn.

Nothing good happens at a club with surrounded with drunk people.

Better to be fully drunk than to be half sober.

I start to think, do I like women only or do I have an unexplainable attraction towards men. Men who pulls me toward them and finds me, the average plain singaporean Jane, attractive as well. Or I'm just convenient and easy to let my guards down. Fortunately, my conscience kicked in and knocked the sense out of me.

But in the process, I know I'm letting people who care, down. This particular person whom I've held a torch for months, has chosen to distance herself away from me after learning what happened. Why did I tell her? Was it for myself? Or did I really want her to care? Better to lay all my cards on the table, or act noble and keep the burden on myself and gain her sympathy later? I think the latter is dispicable if it was deliberately kept from her in all consciousness. So i accept my punishment of being ignored for the next one week. Time and space is the only thing I can offer.

I'm prolly a housefly now and all she wants to do is to slap me.