it's time to update my blog... enough showcase of my stupidity...

i've been so caught up with the preparation for the aceh trip... sometimes i wonder, i'm busy with the trip because i'm told to do so, or is it only natural that i go down to help? is it within my responsibility, or being helpful, or being just being super obedient. whatever it is, all these preparation really make me look forward to the trip so much, and i can't wait to check out the "one" person on the trip who's going to be the common topic for us in the future. someone to laugh about and get disgusted with. Yet at the same time, i have to discover myself. what kind of person i really am... although after the first time, i should already know some, but sometimes, those memories aren't very deep in my mind. those i still can remember are very shallow, because i went and all i did was to just follow, it didn't seem tt i made the best out of the trip. i was there taking and following instructions,but i couldn't feel so much empathy for whom we were working for.

this time is different... it's the first time i'm so involved in the planning of the trip, esp logistics... it's so different from organising a fundraising event, there's so much backstage preparation to do. today i went to the kallang store, and we dug out everything we could find to give to the orphans...i climbed up and down, and carried heavy boxes of stuff... my arms are fine, i need leg exercises....

anyway, watched the tsunami video, and this time, i have much more gan3 chu4, seeing people literally buried under the water... and current was so strong... the children couldn't hold on to the poles and they got swept away by the water... people trying to swim for their dear lives but the menacing water crashes onto them, throwing them straight onto buildings like hitting a squash ball on the wall. like being sucked into a whirlpool, u feet can't find the ground, the water gushes into your nose and mouth, your eyes are filled with mud, a tremendous force just hits you endlessly, as you look up from the water, u can't see anything else. fear overpowers u and the next moment, u remember all your sins, ur family, ur loved ones, praying to God, pleading him to let u see them one last time. sympathy tears battle out with the merciless, and have lost. it takes away fragile lives with one whip, in front of the eyes of God, leaving his shelter alone and intact, as if giving Him the due respect.

Why... why punish them that way... okie, i'm getting a little emotional here. it's such a tragedy, now that i feel it when i know i'm doing a little something for them. Give the kids some hope to live on. what's gone is gone, we can only create a brighter future for the pillars of the nation.
and i wonder how they are going to drag the big tanker ship off the road. the mighty waves swept a super big ship onto the land, residing and abandoning it on land. it's as big as Titanic. think the only way might be to demolish it with a bomb, then slowly clear the bits and pieces of what's left of the ship.