Today's the start of the 7th month, everyone seem to think an overcasted aura of spookiness around them. Maybe the feeling will be more intense if u guys watch "The Maid". Siao. I wouldn't do that to myself. Humans just love to create atmosphere - a God-given talent and according to the book i just read by Rick Warren, people can do anything they want, except sins, as long as they praise the Lord for their acheivements, they fulfil their purpose in life. This book really brings out the spritual matter in an individual, letting him look beyond what's placed in front of him. Yet at the same time, it's a little of shock to me, in terms of their ideas and ideals. I am trying to explore, trying to learn what's on the other side of a believer of Christ, trying to understand what my frens' perception of living is like. Well, i'm still at beginners' stage but have no intentions to advance anywhere further.

My elderest bro's going Korea for 6 months. my 2nd bro is moving in to hall. and i'm alone at home with my parents. Half of my heart wants me to stay at home, the other desires a new lifestyle. i've finally got a tuition job and its confirmed, hopefully by the end of my year 2, i can save a substantial amount to go for SEP. let me do my calculations:

1 month = $240.
1 semester = $240 x 4 = $960
2 semesters = $ 960 x 2 + $240 x 3= $2640
Expenditure = $80/week + $52 transport / month = $2560 + $416 = $2976

Total Balance = - $336

Nice. I don't know how much my family can afford, or should fork out for us. I haven't been working for the past 3 months, in fact spending much more than usual on food and transport and camp fees and stuff. I think my bro and i gotta do some financial planning. Maybe I should go SEP in sem 2, he go in sem 1. Then i probably can save up more. The house would be quiet for some time. Just an indication or warning, that all the kids in the house have all grown up and my parents would probably be having a taste of how life would be like after all 3 of us get married. They have been giving lots of support, my dad has never discouraged me from doing all the work, my mum would frown occasionally coz i get to travel to more places than she ever did in her life. I guess i'm lucky but it comes with a price too.

So, in case some are wondering, no luck in my love life, there's more to come in the new acadamic year in nus. I dunno what's the thing about giving false signals to guys whose liking for me is not reciprocated. I merely let him understand what kind of person i am, on the other hand every experience like this makes me understand myself more. He didn't call me tonight. I suppose he got the hint. I am in fact not warm at all, sometimes just being nice on the facade but tolerating the differences we have on the inside. Sigh. it happens all the time, nothing ever goes right with pre-pending relationships. I think the problem has always been with myself - I am just so unappreciative most of the time - until we know each other for more than 6 months, don't expect me to expect ur call every night.